How to Support the LGBTQIA+ Community after Pride Month
Author: Erica Caparelli
Pride month is an exciting time of year when society loudly celebrates the thriving and resilient LGBTQIA+ community. But LGBTQIA+ people exist all year long, so it is important that people do not limit their explicit support to one month a year. Here are some of the simple but extremely impactful things all people can do to improve the living conditions for queer people. If everyone took these small steps to support LGBTQIA+ people, the lasting mental health effectS would be profound!
1. Stop thinking of gender as a binary
There are various gender identities beyond the typical man/woman binary many of us were taught. Rather, gender exists on a spectrum, and a person’s gender identity can change or evolve overtime. Keeping this perspective validates the experiences and existence of people who do not identify within the man/woman binary, and people whose gender identities or expressions have changed overtime.
2. Don't make assumptions about people’s gender identities, including young people and children, regardless of how they look
Regardless of how a person presents (masculine, feminine, androgynous via clothing, makeup, hair growth, etc), this does not tell you their gender. Remember that gender expression does not equal gender identity. This is also true for children and young people, as they have the autonomy to determine their own gender, as well!
3. Be careful not to conflate gender & sexuality, as they are two different things
Lumping many gender and sexual identities into the LGBTQIA+ umbrella can lead to people thinking that sexuality and gender are the same thing. However, gender and sexuality are two important aspects of every person’s life! Remember that a person’s gender identity does not determine their sexuality, and a person’s sexual preferences does not determine their gender. For example, there are cisgender gay people, transgender heterosexual people, and genderfluid pansexual people. UC Davis put together this helpful glossary of terms to learn some of the many different gender and sexual identities that exist.
4. Make it a norm to ask & respect people’s pronouns
When meeting new people, be sure to ask them their pronouns and use them correctly. If you are cisgender, introduce yourself with your pronouns so that it is not the sole responsibility of trans and gender expansive people to do so. If you make a mistake, it is okay! Just apologize and move on. It is a constant battle living in a world where society at large does not normalize or acknowledge your existence, and people mistaking your pronouns is a part of that struggle. So if you make a mistake, be sure not to make it the person’s responsibility to console you.
5. Don’t make LGBTQIA+ people automatic spokespeople or LGBTQIA+ educators, personally or organizationally
It is true that LGBTQIA+ people have a wealth of knowledge on LGBTQIA+-related topics, as who else would know best but the people with those identities? However, expecting LGBTQIA+ people to educate you on queer topics, or speak for the entire queer community results in unnecessary emotional labor on part of queer people. If you would like education or advice from a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, be mindful to ask for consent before asking them to provide you with that support, and offer compensation for their time and emotional energy. If this is not something you can afford to do, there are many free resources to educate yourself with online (see resources later on this page)! Also keep in mind that the experience of one person with a particular gender or sexual identity does not speak for the experiences or opinions of every person holding that identity. There are various aspects of a person’s identity that alter the way in which they move through the world. For example, the experience of a neurodivergent, Black, non-binary asexual person is very different from the experience of an able-bodied, white, cisgender gay man. Class, race, immigration status, and ability are just some of the different factors that affect a queer person’s experience in America. That said, there is no one spokesperson for all LGBTQIA+ experiences.
In summary, educate yourself, be mindful, and be humble
Each suggestion above speaks to the larger idea that in order to be a thoughtful ally for the LGBTQIA+ community, one must make it a priority to educate themselves on the experiences of queer people. Remember, when in doubt, be respectful and do what you need to do to get the information you are lacking. Keep in mind that people are the experts of their experiences, and arguing with queer people about the validity of their existence or experience has lasting harmful mental and physical health effects. LGBTQIA+ adults and children are not confused; listen to and respect their experiences. Taking these small steps will make a tremendous difference for the LGBTQIA+ community!
NEW YORK RESOURCES:
LGBTQIA+-specializing Therapists at AGP
Erica Caparelli, bio here
Michael Mantell, bio here
Valerie Hoagland, bio here
Madison Trifon, bio here
Resources Guides
An online resource to track anti-transgender & LGBTQIA+-related legislation
Activism campaigns to sign onto against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation
Resources and Organizations to Support
Bluestockings is a collectively-run activist center, community space and feminist bookstore that offers mutual aid, harm reduction support, non-judgemental resource research and a warming/cooling place that is radically inclusive of all genders, cultures, expansive sexualities and identities. 116 Suffolk Street, New York NY, 917-409-0440
The LGBT Center offers the LGBTQ communities of NYC advocacy, health and wellness programs; arts, entertainment and cultural events; recovery, parenthood and family support services.*
Trans Lifeline is a grassroots hotline and microgrants 501(c)(3) non-profit organization offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis – for the trans community, by the trans community. Hotline: (877) 565-8860*
Fireweed Collective offers mental health education and mutual aid through a Healing Justice lens. We help support the emotional wellness of all people, and center the needs of those most marginalized by our society. Our work seeks to disrupt the harm of systems of abuse and oppression, often reproduced by the mental health system.*
Callen-Lorde Community Health Center provides sensitive, quality health care and related services targeted to New York’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities — in all their diversity — regardless of ability to pay.*
GMHC is the world’s first and leading provider of HIV/AIDS prevention, care and advocacy. Building on decades of dedication and expertise, we understand the reality of HIV/AIDS and empower a healthy life for all.*
Q Clinic is a free primary health clinic run by Columbia medical students. We provide affirming, trauma-informed care to all, and our services are tailored to fit the needs of the LGBTQI+ population of NYC. We are open for walk-in appointments every Wednesday from 6-7:30 pm; you do not need to bring any insurance, ID, proof of citizenship, or payment method. For more information, visit our website at www.qclinic.org, or our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/qclinicnyc. If you have any questions, text/call us at 347-565-5042 or email us at qclinic@columbia.edu.*
Queer Healers is a team of queer people who love queer healers who believe queer people need an easy way to find healers who relate to their lived-experience.*
Trans Needle Exchange is a non-profit mail-based service providing free HRT needle supplies for trans folk who cannot access or afford their own. We send a month’s worth of supplies to people all around the country. Trans Needle Exchange ships out over 150 packages a month.*
The Colectivo TRANSgrediendo is a social organization, which works on the empowerment of human rights, access and comprehensive health care, of TransGNB people, strengthening the social and cultural expression of diverse gender identities in New York City, in order to guarantee our well-being and the right to a life free of all types of violence. Located at 3763 83rd St, Suite #1B Jackson Heights, NY 11372, office number is 347-738-6989, Trans Line Whatsapp number is (917) 702- 8419 and email: contact@ourvoicesarefree.org or hello@ourvoicesarefree.org*
GLITS, Inc. we address health care and health resilience for transgender sex workers. We currently work on housing since so many in our G.L.I.T.S.’ communities are without stable housing, deepening the cycle of disenfranchisement. G.L.I.T.S. also advocates and educates to ensure health, wellness and inclusion of transgender people in our society and to address the stigmatization and criminalization of trans people because of anti-prostitution/anti-sex work laws. Intake form: https://www.glitsinc.org/contact-us and toll-free SWOP-USA/GLITS Community Support Line at (877) 776-2004 (ext. 212)*
The NYC Anti-Violence Project empowers LGBTQ and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence.*
FIERCE is a membership-based organization building the leadership and power of LGBTQ youth of color in NYC. We develop politically conscious leaders who are invested in improving ourselves and our communities through youth-led campaigns, leadership development programs, and cultural expression through arts and media.
Queer Sex Ed is a queer sexual education project with the goal of sharing stories of sexual health, sex positivity, and everyday queer sexual life to normalize authentic conversations about sex, pleasure, boundaries, health, and communication.
*adapted from Bluestocking Cooperative’s website’s “Community Resources” tab
SAN FRANCISCO RESOURCES:
Resource Guides
The San Francisco LGBT Center’s Resource Guide. The SFLGBT Center also offers the following programming: economic Development, youth program, community programs, and building Services
Resources and Organizations to Support
University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) Transgender Care is a multidisciplinary program consisting of experts in transgender medicine and surgery at UCSF Medical Center. Our aim is to provide evidence-based, cutting-edge clinical care for transgender and gender non-binary communities, as well as to conduct pioneering research and train the next generation of medical providers on all aspects of gender-affirming clinical care.
UCSF's Child and Adolescent Gender Center offers comprehensive medical and psychological care, as well as advocacy and legal support, to transgender, nonbinary and gender-expansive kids.
Mind the Gap is the mental health consortium of the UCSF Child and Adolescent Gender Center; a group of San Francisco Bay Area psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, and other allied professionals who provide gender-affirmative services to gender expansive, gender creative, and transgender children, youth, and their families.
Dimensions Clinic is a welcoming, safe and open space for queer and trans youth to get comprehensive medical and mental health services. Dimensions Clinic provides primary care, sexual and reproductive health care, and transgender care in a friendly and comfortable environment.
Queer Cultural Center promotes social justice and the artistic and financial development of queer art and culture. With a focus on the Bay Area’s queer arts community, QCC seeks to achieve national visibility and recognition by employing the arts to advance cultural equity and social justice. Our programs include grants for LGBTQ+ individual artists and organizations, free workshops to support the development of successful artistic practices, lectures and panels in partnership with regional universities and colleges, and sponsorship of numerous arts events throughout the Bay Area.
Somos Familia is an educational resource as well as a provider of bilingual (Spanish/English) education and support services for Latinx families and service providers such as child care workers, teachers, and staff of community-based organizations in order to build their capacity to better serve Latinx families with LGBTQ+ children and create safer environments for all of our children.
Gender Spectrum offers online support groups for pre-teens, teens, parents, and caregivers, online consulting, and other resources.
LYRIC Center for LGBTQQ Youth’s mission is to build community and inspire positive social change through education enhancement, career trainings, health promotion, and leadership development with LGBTQQ youth, their families, and allies of all races, classes, genders, and abilities.
LGBTQIA+-related Book Suggestions from AGP therapists
Disability Visability: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century edited by Alice Wong
Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters
All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson
Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
Emergent Strategy, We Will Not Cancel Us: And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice, and Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by adrienne maree brown
Anything from this Sci-Fi book list
Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community (a collection of essays written by various authors & edited by Laura Erickson-Schroth)
