It’s the Most Wonderful Time of The Year?
Author: Alysha Perlman
We’re constantly told “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”…but then why is it so stressful?
With overbooked schedules full of work deadlines, added travel, and holiday parties—the ability to make time for everyone and everything can really take time away from what you do for you and dampen your holiday spirit. So how do we take time for ourselves and still enjoy all the holidays have to offer?
Finding time for yourself may be the hardest thing to remember around the holidays, but it’s also the most important! It’s easy to forget to meditate or forgo your Wednesday morning workout when there are so many things to think about and do during this time of year. We can forget to take time for ourselves when we’re so worried about pleasing everyone around us. So how do we maintain our routines and self-care?
Clarify Your Self-Care
If you already have a self-care routine, great! If not, the first step to maintaining your self-care routine during the holidays is to define it.
Self-care comes in many forms and it’s important to figure out what self-care means to you. I asked the team of therapists at A Good Place Therapy & Consulting what self-care activities they engage in and got different answers from each! While some found exercise and meditation to be most important, others found boundary setting and alone time to be more beneficial. All are equally important and very personal.
Self-care is unique to each person and there is no ‘right’ way to care for yourself. Take a moment and ask yourself:
What actions (or inactions) support my mental health?
What helps me to feel more like myself?
What does self-care mean to me?
Once you’ve defined self-care and the benefits you seek, it takes on a more personal meaning. It can even become something you enjoy. Now, that you’ve defined your self-care, how do you maintain it during the holidays when it’s even more difficult to stick to a routine?
Here are three easy ways:
1. Take A Moment
No matter your self-care activity, taking a moment to be present and mindful of your environment can help de-escalate and reduce added holiday stress. Breathing exercises or counting to ten can be an easy and quick way to take a moment for yourself. During the holidays, you can often feel pulled in several different directions talking to many family members for hours on end. Removing yourself from the room to have a moment outside or taking a phone call away from the chaos can make moments with family more enjoyable.
2. Stay Organized
Making self-care a priority by adding it to your calendar as a “to do” item can help you to see it as a necessity, rather than an option. For example, I’ll often add workout classes to my calendar around the holidays so I’m more likely to stick to it. Keeping “to do” lists can also help when you have more on your plate. Having your holiday schedule written down can also make tasks seem less overwhelming. Buying gifts, attending parties, and booking transportation are easier to tackle when they’re structured into a system, rather than managed in your head. Managing money during the holidays can often create added stress. Budgeting for gifts, travel, and other holiday necessitates allows you to plan for what you need, rather than being surprised by unexpected costs. Staying organized can reduce anxiety and help us to feel more balanced and in control. So why not make it easier for yourself?
3. Don’t Overextend Yourself (It’s okay to say “no”)
As mentioned earlier, boundary setting is so important, especially during the holidays! Spending long periods of time with people you may not see often can feel like an obligation. Whether you feel this way or not, extended periods of time with many people doing different things can be exhausting. It’s okay to say “no” to certain plans if you feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to not buy gifts if you can’t afford them. Determine from the start of the season what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not so you can set boundaries and not overextend yourself. I know I have difficulty saying “no” to events since I imagine it will hurt someone's feelings. However, often times that’s not the case! It’s better to say “no” from the start than not show, or not be present when you get there.
The Takeaway:
Prioritizing your self-care can help you to stay true to yourself this holiday season. To put it all together: Clarify your care, schedule some space, stick to a system, and know when to say “no.”
Try out these tips to tap into the holiday cheer. With enough practice, you too will start feeling like it’s the most wonderful time of the year.
Happy Holidays!
