Therapist Spotlight: Amy Warren

What inspired you to pursue a career as a therapist/social worker?

I’ve always been interested in what makes people tick and why we behave the way we do, and what’s considered abnormal versus "normal"—whatever that means.  I've always been fascinated by people, just understanding why people are the way they are.  I was a psychology major in college which led to an early career in communications, marketing, and public relations.  I did a lot of event planning for the entertainment industry like galas, benefits, giant parties, essentially.  In some ways, it was a good fit.  I was young. I enjoyed the excitement and glamour, and I’m good with people.  But after a while, I didn’t really feel like I was doing what I was meant to be doing, which was connecting with people individually.  While my work was often involved in philanthropic purposes, I didn’t feel at the end of the day that it was really touching somebody, helping somebody, or changing anyone’s life.  So, I decided I wanted to be on the other side of the nonprofit world. I wanted to talk to people about issues that weren’t so glamorous.  Issues that were, in fact, very difficult for people.  Every single person on this planet has gone through some kind of mental health challenge or emotional crisis.  I wanted to help and get back to what it means to be human.

You left the bright lights and the glamour. It sounds like you were called. 

 I believe that.  And I recognized that I have really good communication skills, both interpersonally and publicly. I recognized that I am able to relate to and connect with people across a broad spectrum, people with different backgrounds.  It's inherent to my personality and the experiences I've had.

How would you describe your clinical approach?

I would describe my approach as eclectic.  Everyone is different; every person has different needs.  So getting to know the person comes first, getting a better understanding of their personality, their background, their experiences and how they relate to the world: all of this comes before choosing between DBT or CBT, etc.  I have training in all these methods; I understand them.  But I really like to assess the person first so I can figure out the best fit for them. 

Then, usually, I use a combination of different approaches.  The client and I often do baseline cognitive work, helping them shift their perspective to change the way they think, to change the way they feel, to change the way they behave... So, I employ CBT with generally supportive talk therapy. I incorporate mindfulness too, as well as self psychology... Many different approaches, really. 

This is purely out of personal curiosity here: were you seduced by a particular perspective in the early going?  I know you tailor your methods to your client's needs, but were there clinical approaches that particularly spoke to you?

Often, I can’t help but go back to psychodynamic approaches to understand where we come from and what has happened to people...trauma-informed care has been really important to me.  I have done a lot of work related to traumatic loss and traumatic grief, so I’ve learned a lot by working with clients in immediate crises—understanding more and more how our ability to cope with trauma has so much to do with how we have learned to cope in the past.  Understanding how where we were then and what was done affects where we are now... everything is connected.

I have also cultivated a practice of working with people experiencing pregnancy and infertility difficulties, including binary and non-binary men and women and the LGBTQIA+ community. I have worked with individuals who have been unable to conceive or have conceived to have lost a late term pregnancy.  Miscarriage, pregnancy loss, and stillborn births are absolutely traumatic losses that often go unacknowledged in the open.  The suffering is more private which poses its own challenges to recovery.  Helping people through these struggles has deeply informed the rest of my clinical work as well. 

There are so many different clinical approaches, so many ways to look at suffering, but I definitely come to the work with a trauma-informed lens and a strengths-based perspective.  I believe that everybody has resiliency and an ability to bounce back.  Everyone has something to offer.  I really try to draw on people’s positive qualities, empowering them when they feel defeated.  I’m really good at seeing people, seeing the best in them, and helping them shift how they view themselves and the world.  Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense, and it's beautifully put.  I want to backtrack for a second to the trauma work.  Not everyone signs up for that.  What was that like for you?

To be very honest, it was overwhelming at first.  But mastering that and dealing with really scary situations, from that point on, I became stronger, and it gave me confidence to tackle a lot of different issues with clients. I had to do a lot of work on countertransference and just secondary trauma…

The feelings that the work brought up for you, and how it sometimes produced traumatic effects on your own well-being?

Yes.  I’ve had clients who’ve described in detail truly terrifying and near death experiences, extreme grief, extreme loss...you know, worst case scenarios.  These things just happen.  At first, there was always something in me that thought, “How do I fix this?! How do I make it better for somebody?”  But then you just realize that this is part of life. It’s not really about fixing people or fixing things.  It’s about going through it with people.  

So, circling back to my preferred clinical approach, I see the therapist relationship as  a partnership.  I am essentially a support vessel.  I go through a process with people.

You’re not fixing them; you’re accompanying them.

I’m accompanying them, because I honestly feel that people learn and become empowered to change themselves.  I’m there for them, but they do the work.  We do it through a partnership.

You mentioned that these crises are a part of life.  In a sense, there’s no avoiding them.  On the other hand, you were encountering them everyday, which is unusual unless you live in a kind of perpetual war zone. Unfortunately, some people do live in war zones, but typically, our lives are only punctuated by traumatic crises.  And yet, here you were accompanying people through them everyday.  How did you come out the other side of that?  

Great colleagues.  I have had kind and very supportive colleagues that were doing the same kind of work.  I could talk to them about my cases, bounce ideas off of them, and just understand that I’m there to help people through their pain.  They supported me and helped me understand how important that was. 

That’s lovely.  Again, the importance of partnership, helping all of us get through... What do you think it's like for your clients to be with you?

I think they experience me as relatable, as an active listener, as down-to-earth... and also light-hearted.  And it’s interesting, as I’ve worked with these serious traumas—-the death and the dying, mainly—it's important to hold the lightheartedness together, too.  And the humor.  A gallows sense of humor, it’s there.  And a sense of optimism—just being able to look at things and seeing the faintest light at the end of that tunnel.  Also, I think clients sense my vulnerability, my humanity. I don’t keep a stonewall between us.  There is a real relationship between us.

I want to ask you about the Big Picture.  Has it changed since you started doing this work?

It has changed. I find myself getting inspired when I work with people and go through the process of change with them, or seeing them heal themselves. Working with people on this deep and intimate level motivates me.  I would say that I lead a more inspired and meaningful life because of my clients. 

What a nice sentiment. I can relate, though.  I think my clients have helped me through the COVID crisis.  I don't know what I would have done without them.

Right. There’s something about being needed that gives us purpose. It helps redirect us out of our own thinking patterns sometimes.  Everybody has the ability to get stuck in a negative thought pattern or a negative headspace, but connecting with other people gives us the ability to climb out of it.  As you’re talking to me right now, you can be present and mindful that we’re here together, that even though there’s a screen and headphones, there’s an encounter that's happening.  See, we can help each other.