Coping with Winter Blues: Tips from an AGP Therapist
Author: Kara Lissy
With fall almost halfway through and winter fast approaching, anxiety about the dreary upcoming months is beginning to creep in. As if shorter days and colder temperatures weren’t enough, we’re still feeling disappointed about all that COVID-19 has stolen from us. At least the masks are kind of blocking our frustrated expressions, right?
Many of my clients are fearful that seasonal affective disorder, which sometimes hits the northeast, will only be exacerbated by the social distancing enforcements, stress about getting sick and difficulty separating work from home.
If you, too, are concerned about how to properly self-care in a potentially uniquely depressing winter, try these tips below for coping ahead.
Set a small, manageable goal.
The pandemic can feel like a stark, constant reminder that we don’t always have complete control over our circumstances. When we believe we are always a victim of events, this can lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and powerlessness.
When we set incremental goals, we give ourselves the opportunity to achieve something and control our own destiny, however small it might be. This, in turn, leads to higher self-esteem, more happiness and greater self-efficacy. Just make sure your goal is SMART:
Specific: “I will practice beginner’s yoga in my room with [instructor or fitness group’s name].”
Measurable: “I will do this for 10 minutes 3 x a week.”
Attainable: “I have time in my day to do this.”
Realistic: “I’m physically able to do this.”
Time-bound: “I will try this for a month”.
I suggest also keeping a journal to log your progress and note how your thoughts and emotions change positively as a result of your new behavior.
Watch for cognitive distortions
“Cognitive distortion” is a fancy term for an unrealistic, unhelpful, or irrational negative thought. These thoughts stem from patterns of engrained thinking that can usually be linked back to messages we learned as children or from society at large. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) works to address these thoughts in part by looking at how they relate to your feelings and behaviors.
While it’s great to do CBT with a professional, you can also incorporate some tools and techniques on your own. The first step to arguing your thoughts is to identify which category they fall under.
Black and white thinking involves thinking in extremes.
“This winter/pandemic/work project is never going to end.” “Everything about this year was horrible.”
The trick: argue with more balanced evidence to the contrary.
“Nothing lasts forever”; “Some really terrible things happened this year, but I can think of some great things that happened too.”
Predicting the future occurs when we make negative assumptions about the future.
“I’m not going to meet anyone over virtual dating.”
The trick: Use the 2:1 ratio when running through possible scenarios, always overshadowing the negative possibilities with positive ones.
“What if I meet someone great after all? What if I don’t meet “The one” right now, but still have fun?”
Catastrophizing happens when we quickly spiral into all of the worst case scenarios and start to worry about things that weren’t even on our minds to begin with.
For instance, we might start worrying about COVID-19 and end up in a complete existential crisis about the state of humanity.
The trick: Use the 54321 grounding exercise. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. It’s a quick way to bring you back down to earth.
Our thoughts can play mean tricks on us, but never forget they can also be our most powerful ally if we choose to harness them in helpful ways.
Keep your sleep in check
Sleep is usually one of the first dominoes to fall over when it comes to mental health. A few lost hours here and there may not seem harmful at first, but before you know it your eating habits, energy, concentration and social plans also come tumbling down in a most unpleasant chain reaction. Couple this with working, sleeping, relaxing and sometimes teaching all from the same home and it can be even harder to unwind.
Keep these sleep hygiene tips in mind as you start to prepare for more days hunkered down inside:
Monitor your negative thoughts about sleep. Remember we can actually function with MUCH less sleep than we think; consider college students studying for final exams, high schoolers waking up early to play sports or parents who manage to do it all for their children with so little sleep!
Do not overcompensate by sleeping in. We build adenosine, the primary sleep hormone, when we are awake, which means it’s better if you keep your routine and get up at the same time every day.
Avoid screens an hour before bedtime or invest in blue light blocking glasses.
Limit naps to 45 minutes and not too close to bedtime.
Try to sleep 30 minutes after laying down for bed and get out of bed 30 minutes within waking up.
Try progressive muscle relaxation meditations on Insight Timer if you feel you’re amped up or tense.
Look into light therapy to mimic natural sunlight in the morning; this can help with your circadian rhythm.
Start learning your self-care routine now
Perhaps the most important aspect of any of these coping skills is that you start practicing them now. Mastering any technique or new habit takes time and we can’t expect to be experts right away.
As a runner, I usually compare this to training for a marathon. I would never have woken up on the day of the race and decided to run with no preparation. Instead, I trained for months, invested in proper clothing and a coach and gradually built up stamina for race day.
The winter months will be like race day! Instead of waiting until crisis mode to start implementing these suggestions, start rehearsing them now while we’re soaking up the last beautiful days of fall. That way, when you really need your self-care on a frigid, lonely, cloudy winter day, it will come more easily to you.
Remember that emotions always pass
As important as it is to have skills in our toolbox, as a therapist, I feel inclined to mention that sometimes, feeling your painful feelings is exactly what you need to do. We can’t always remedy our symptoms away. Just make sure to give yourself extra compassion, kindness and patience - these are the qualities that will keep you warm from the inside all winter long!
