Spotlight Interview: Anna Resnikoff

Asasia: What brought you to social work, what’s your social work story?

Anna: I've always kind of known this field was what I was going to do for a while because even as a very little kid, I loved to work with people and I was strongest at working with people. But I think I didn't start sort of conceptualizing exactly what this meant, like, Anna as a therapist, or why, until probably my adolescence. It had a lot to do with my own personal identity and being adopted, half white and half Black, but raised by white parents in a white family. I had my first daughter when I was 17, turning 18. Like all of the issues of identity, and what that meant when someone feels that their identity is fractured in many ways, or they can't seem to create a cohesive identity that includes all the different hats, or identities that they have into like this larger picture. That was when I really knew that there were far more people that struggled with this sort of thing. Even if you weren't mixed or adopted, but just even as simple as like, how does one wear their professional hat, their personal hat, their romantic hat, you know, all those things and sort of draw it into one cohesive picture. I think a lot of people have difficulties doing that. And that's where a lot of discomfort comes from. 

Through that discomfort that I felt myself, the behaviors started happening that just weren't probably the healthiest or the best. So that's when I really started to say that, I think I could really help people when it comes to this sort of identity crisis, or what it means to have to navigate multiple different parts of ourselves into one. That's when I really realized that social work was for me. 

Asasia: I don't know if you know this, I'm mixed as well and a lot of my clients are also mixed. And like you said, even my clients who don't identify that way, I find that other pockets and pieces of their identity still brings up those senses of fragmentation or kind of figuring out, what does it mean to actually hold all of these parts of myself into an idealized version? And that's complicated work, right? That's not in the DSM, that's not necessarily taught in a textbook. So what informs your practice and your approach?

Anna: We're talking about theory. I really try and stay away from pathologizing. But I am very much grounded in systems theory framework. I can't do it now due to my own schedule, but I really initially believe that working with families or, or family systems, or couples, is more beneficial to an individual than just working with an individual. 

Now that's given if they have those supports, right. But even if you don't have a “family” in the way that others do, you have your people and your family is whoever you want it to be. But aside from that, everything I do even with individuals is grounded in systems. So looking at the larger picture of, how are my clients’ individual lives influenced by other people. And almost anything your client is bringing into the space is going to be about relationships with other people. So the thing that really grounds me is being aware of relationships, relationships, relationships. We all as humans have some connection.

My second grounding in my work is DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). And I particularly love working with Borderline [personality disorder] individuals and severely suicidal individuals, and I use DBT intentionally with those clients. Other than that, there has been work that I've sort of started to integrate, like a lot of emotionally responsive practices are something that I hold near and dear to me. I throw things in, depending on who I'm working with.

Asasia: For you, when you imagine your typical session, what does it look like? [Both laugh] Right? Because what's the typical session?

Anna: I think it matters where in the therapeutic relationship I am with the client. I'm thinking about the clients I currently work with now that I've worked with for over a year. If you came into the session, you would think we're genuine friends. This doesn't mean I'm calling them at 10 o'clock at night, like “Hey, boo, what's up” or like, show me a pic. But there's a level of comfort that they have with me and I have with them that really allows them to be themselves. I'm so into it, and I'm in the moment there with my clients. 

Asasia: I mean, you're touching on what is the core part of the therapeutic relationship, which is the relationship, right? At the end of the day, it's a relationship and we're sitting down and we're talking.

Anna: Yeah, yeah. And that actually reminds me earlier today, I was scrolling through Instagram, and I came across something that really spoke to me. It was under this therapist, but they said, “Clients feeling truly heard, understood, and emotionally held is way more important than any raggedy theory.”

Like that is the essence of what happens. And you think about, a lot of clients come to us because they're dealing with stuff that wasn't appropriately handled when they were growing up. And so it is our job to recreate that. In many ways, I have to re-teach them how to be a certain way. That's where the change comes from, is really creating that holding environment for someone to truly be who they are. So that then they can feel like I've been heard and seen, and now I can go out into the world, and be myself or be more comfortable with who I am. So that's what a session would look like. They literally are just who they are, come as they are like, it is what it is.

Asasia: What is something that you've learned over your career as a therapist?

Anna: I think the biggest thing that I've learned is that I don't have a magic wand. And I don't need to. I think there's this assumption that therapists solve everyone's problems. And that's just not true. I think I always spoke that or thought that, but I don't think I really understood and harnessed that aspect of being okay with it. To move away from a very solutions-focused framework.

The other biggest, biggest thing that I've learned, that when I finally accepted it was probably the most liberating ever, was that I'm not a good fit for every client. And I'm absolutely okay with clients having a session and just not coming back. You don't have to necessarily work well with everyone. And the moment that you feel like you don't work well with someone, it's okay to say, “Hey, I think this person might be better off with someone else.” I love my clients dearly but the reason why our sessions are so good is because we really are a great fit. 

And then the third one because there's really three, is following my clinical gut. It has never once sent me down a direction that has not worked. Follow that clinical intuition and gut.

Asasia: So this is kind of the self care question. When it comes to how you take care of yourself, or how you find joy throughout your week, or how you decompress, what are the things that you do in your personal time?

Anna: Well, I watch 90 Day Fiance, that's for sure! All the spin-offs of that, so 90 Day Fiance, right now it's Love in the Caribbean. Also The Chi is back so I watch that. I would say I'm constantly thinking about either my work at the schools or my clients, and I get a lot of joy from thinking of them. And I get a lot of joy, from moments in my family and my kids lives. I do things for myself, as I see fit, when I need them. Maybe I have a laugh, I enjoy seeing my clients. That's sort of my self care. And knowing that when I need to step away, I step away. There's been times where I cancel all my sessions, just because that morning I'm like, I just don't feel like being a therapist. And I just do it. Maybe I sit on my couch and I do nothing and that's fine.

Asasia: Doing nothing is doing something. Sometimes we need to do nothing.