COUPLES COUNSELING

We repeat what
we don't repair. 

— Christine Langely-Obaugh

About Couples Therapy

Romantic relationships can be hard work that require attention and support along the way. Couples therapy is a method of psychotherapy used to help two people in a relationship gain deeper understanding and insight, resolve conflict, and build a healthier partnership. A therapist can help identify relationship patterns, uncover hidden intentions or expectations, and help couples that feel they are stuck in a rut. 

Couples often seek out therapy in times of conflict and crisis.  Usually issues stem from the need to be loved, accepted, or understood. Couples can get stuck in negative patterns; as resentment builds up, one or both individuals may withdraw and become bitter or unhappy. The longer these unhealthy patterns are allowed to set in without any intervention, the harder it is to restore the deep connections that make up a healthy relationship. 

Couples counseling is a useful intervention for concerns related to, but not limited to: sexual difficulties, jealousy, premarital counseling, chronic health issues, death/loss, infertility, finances, loneliness, substance use, or frequent conflict. The focus of the counseling is the relationship itself, because it is a different and separate entity from the individuals involved. Each person brings their own family patterns, culture, expectations, and values to the relationship. Our approach focuses on the individual's responsibilities to the relationship, to shape and build the partnership into one that helps them feel more deeply loved and connected to one another. With the help of therapy, you can reconnect and reignite the friendship and passion in your relationship. 

What you can expect from working with a therapist on our team:

Therapists in our practice are trained in Prepare/Enrich and/or The Gottman Method, which are among the most researched and evidence-based of the couples therapy methods. We also draw on other useful models and theories of practice such as Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couple's Therapy (EFT), adult attachment theories, and Esther Perel's Research and work. Our approach largely involves assigning the expert role to the couple. Our therapists have varying approaches, so please inquire with the receptionist, when you email or call to set up an appointment.

We will meet for a conjoint session first, then individually with each partner for one session. We administer a questionnaire (requires an additional small fee) that helps us identify both the strengths and challenges. We develop a plan of action together based on the assessment and determine the frequency and duration of sessions in the third session. If there is a degree of uncertainty about whether to separate or break-up, we will explore that at the outset and individual therapy may also be recommended. The focus is on helping the couple learn to understand and really hear each other. Through the course of therapy, we will address resentment that has built up and create new ways of interacting and showing love, while creating healthy and sustainable patterns.

Couples Counseling Specialists

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